I Suck at Beginnings

I have a tendency to just hop into things because I’m really bad at starting.  No preparation, no forethought, no real planning. Just do it, and figure the details out later.

That is, until the details become necessary. And then I get trapped by them – bogged down in endless choices that I can never seem to resolve.

That leads me to this blog – both its existence and its reason.

I’m not sure exactly when I got the bright idea to enter a triathlon. For that matter, I’m not sure when I decided I wanted to give “being healthy” another shot. I’m 31, a former smoker, and no stranger to the impulse for self-improvement. I’ve bought books, read blogs, gone to seminars, and generally thrown myself at the brick wall that is making myself into a “better” person, over and over and over again.

The line about insanity being doing the same thing and expecting different results is no less true for its overuse. I’ve been able to stick with an exercise program for a while in the past, and lost a bit of weight. But something always gets in the way – work, school, a lack of time, a lack of motivation. And the choices that do me the least amount of good always seem to be the easiest – go to the gym, or…stay home and play video games. Get up early, or….sleep a few more hours. Cook a healthy meal at home, or…order a cheesesteak or some chicken wings from the delivery place that so graciously stuck a menu in my door.

I knew that this time, I needed a goal – a *big* goal. You would think losing weight or being healthier were good enough goals, but apparently I don’t work that way. I need a finish line. I need something more concrete to strive for. I need competition – even if it is ultimately with myself.

And what better finish line than a triathlon?

Every time I think “I don’t want to do this anymore” or “I can skip just this one time” or “I can have this one treat and it won’t make a difference”, I remind myself that I’ve made a commitment to complete a triathlon, and that everything I’m doing is in service to that goal. And so far, it’s kept me going.

Which leads to the blog. I’ve been posting a training log in the Stronglifts community (which is the weight training plan I’m using), but I’m a talker, and I don’t necessarily think that’s the best place to blather on about my cardio workouts or my travails trying to find a sports bra that has any chance of containing my substantial mammaries. Plus, one can never have too many places to be accountable.

So, welcome, if you are reading this. Come along with me on this path littered with blood, sweat, and hopefully very few tears. Let’s see how deep the rabbit hole goes.

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